This is something I’ve never really talked about on my blog before. I have mentioned that I’m super quiet but never really why. I’ve always struggled with it but never realized it was social anxiety until I was in college. If you met me in person you might not believe that I’m way better than I was in high school. I’m still super awkward. I’ve even been taking medication to help me with my anxiety.
In high school, I could barely talk to anyone that weren’t my friends. I’d rarely talk unless asked a question directly. I even skipped school one day because I didn’t want to give a speech in my speech class. I completely dreaded it.
Once I started college, the only friends I made were because of one of my friends from high school. It was hard for me to make friends because her and her roommate (one of the new friends I made) would go home every single weekend. It was so much easier to me to go home too instead of doing something that made me nervous by myself. Sophomore year, I ended up living with my friend from high school, my new friend and her cousin. I was super excited because I figured since we were all living together they wouldn’t go home every weekend. They even all talked about how much fun we could have and all the things we’d do on campus. All of them still went home on the weekends.
There were a couple weekends I tried to brave it out and stay. I’d go over to the cafeteria & to the store on campus but because I couldn’t go up to anyone without freaking myself out & no one would come up to me I just ended up watching a lot of Netflix and hanging out in the dorm by myself.
Where I’ll be relaxing for the weekend!
All 4 years of college I had different roommates each year. Junior year none of them really talked to me, it was probably the most awkward situation. Most of the time you might not see roommates hang out all the time but they wouldn’t even say hi to me or anything like that. Senior year was the year I finally started to push myself. My roommate were a lot more friendly and we’d even do things occasionally. I hadn’t broken the habit of going home every weekend but I was starting to stay every other weekend.
I still haven’t fully overcome my anxiety. I’m not sure if I ever will but I started a meetup.com group and I’ve at least started to start pushing myself instead of just laying in bed and watching Netflix like I really want to do.
I plan on doing more posts about this, there was an unfortunate experience that happened at a concert I went to by myself. Happy 4th of July or Fourfullajy as my sister used to say!
