My Sunday’s are supposed to be dedicated to writing content, but I just couldn’t decide on what to write for my post and I ended up not getting anything on my to-do list done besides starting a printable for Thursday’s post. I got home from work today and decided to start listening to Jen’s Make It Happen podcast since she just started season 2. The first episode was with Caroline from Made Vibrant, who I recently started following because I love her brand. At one point, they started talking about how they love deep conversations and it started to get me thinking about the last time I’ve really had a deep conversation that wasn’t typed on my computer.
I feel like I’ve forgotten how to have a deep conversation. If someone asks me something where they want an in-depth answer (in person or through Skype), I just fumble my way through it and try to give the quickest answer possible. If it’s in person I just keep hoping they don’t look at me directly and either start talking about something else or ask someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I have a ton of friends to talk to here, but none of them really understand my love and want to become and entrepreneur and why I’d want to move to a completely different state and get a full-time job while continuing to grow my online business. There aren’t many people in my town that would rather stay in at night and grow their online presence instead of going out to the bar.
Jen and Caroline also mentioned how much they love telling people what they do and hearing why others are doing what they do. This is one of those answers that I always struggle with answering because I feel like my story isn’t as inspiring as all the stories I hear or that I haven’t done as much as I feel like I should have done at 24. I’m almost afraid to talk about myself out loud and I feel awkward when I’m forced to. I sometimes feel uncomfortable calling myself an entrepreneur or business owner because I feel like I’m not at the same level as everyone I follow. Tweet that.
These are the reasons that I want to make big changes in my life. As much as it scares me to go out into the world and talk about myself, it scares me even more that I’ll end up in the same place as I am right now. I want to have a job in a big city and have co-workers that I talk to every day and possibly hang out with. I want to be surrounded by creatives like the ones I look up to online and have dinner with them while talking about our dreams. While I’m patiently waiting to find out what part of the US I’ll end up in, I’ve been making sure that I participate in more Skype calls with my blogging friends and trying to speak up more and share my thoughts.
If you are wondering, the reason I blog and want a full-time job is because I want to love what I’m doing to make money. I know there will still be days where I won’t want to work or be productive, but I still want that feeling of loving what I’m doing with my life to shine through those unmotivated days.